The Pope and Madonna are back on Track

Double your H and twice the M

— His Holiness and Madonna do H&M Tracksuit Ads

In the latest shocking twist – Love has bloomed between Madonna and the Pope

After a rocky start this week with the Catholic leader calling for the singer to be “ex-communicated” and our girl Madonna responding by valiantly turning the other cheek and sending him a really top end VIP pass for the show — his Holiness Benedict the Sixteenth has had a change of heart.

“Well originally,” says Pope Benedict, “I’d been led to believe that Madge’s show was blasphemous, I mean I’d been told it was full of great big rubbishy heaps of steamin’, phemin’ blasph — whatever that is. Its quite hard to say that Blasph … Blasph … Blasph …too sort of lispy at the end … and I say if you can’t pronounce it without lisping why get your mitre in a twist?”

“Anyhooo … I talked it over with the Cardinals and we decided that the Real blasphemy would be to be waste free Madonna tickets … and like really good ones at that … so we left the dresses and yamakhas in the Vat — got our mufti on and went out to the show all incog like … and let me tell you on one thing … it was BRILLIANT! I mean a diamante-studded cross –WE should have had one of those years ago.”

Not one to miss an opportunity Madonna is cementing her new found friendship with a papally gorgeous ad campaign. Says the famous songstress, ” The thing is Benny just looked so adorable in his street gear at my concert… little red Prada loafers and all … but I thought — He needs a bit of an edge … and an affordable edge at that …. sooooo …. I made some calls! Why excommunicate … when you can just communicate effectively”

Yes that’s right …. You heard it here first
Swedish clothing giant H&M’s deal to dress pop diva Madonna on her current tour has now been expanded to include the Pope in a high end, high exposure, high holy days campaign.

Madonna is not the first celebrity linked with H&M, which has brought in Stella McCartney and Karl Lagerfeld to design truly tragic one-off collections.

But H&M spokesperson TorBjörn Medelsvensson had an interesting perspective on this year’s double bill.

“After our disastrous decision to cancell the Kate Moss campaign we have truly re-evaluated our wobbly market driven ethics. There is every indication that excommunication is this year’s cocaine — and that just being in the vicinity of it will put the stank of success all over our low cost Bangladeshi sewn bits and bobs.

“If Jesus were being crucified today ” continued Mr. Medelsvensson –” You can bet your bottom euro , he’d be doing it in an H&M Madonna track suit!”

Ahhh the dry wit of the Swedes.