Back after a long hiatus … Just when I thought that I was out they pull me back in. … or at least the galactic time space collapse of two berry based Lohan stories did … like a heaping bowl of Count Chocula mixed with lashings of Frankenberry … dressed with a side of Boo Berry syrup … they could not be resisted.
Hypoglycemia be damned … Diabetics in insulin shock twitching by the side of the breakfast table blithely ignored …
A Strawberry Scandal and I ain’t taking about no shortcake … this is the kinda Wild Strawberries that has Ingmar Bergman chattering your ear off at Spy Bar at three in the morning. Nestle better get on this Quik: The British market alone will make their fortune
Strawberry scandale was followed close on the heels by a Blackberry Scandal. An incoherent text messaged manifesto rant from Miss Lohan’s Blackberry is now widely available, shockingly misspelled and incoherently composed. *
Following this debacle calls have been issued by both educators and Disney executives for some of the most the most widespread regulation of access to technology since China got the web or Dubbya got the car keys (thanks to Mollygood and Celebitchy)
It’s gonna be A Very Berry Christmas
* In a related story Kaavya Vishwanatan has already scored a two text deal with Harcourt Brace & Javonovich to regale Blackberry users nationwide with tales of a Harvard co-ed’s recovery from (and I quote) ‘these people’ trying to put an end to me and belittle me as well as try to be the demise of me after all I’ve gone through and done at such a young and tender age in a womans life. Say’s well-known Blackberry addict Antony Romero “I’m really excited to read this new work without ever having to put down my Blackberry. I love Kaavya’s writing it always gives me that deja vu all over again feeling. Kinda Like Habeas Corpus for Siamese Twins”