Marcia Cross: Seeing Red

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Sometimes a punning title is just too hilariously awful (or awfully hilarious) or just too smutty genius to resist.  When CelebNewsWire titled their coverage of the of Marcia Cross’ naked nude photo brouhaha The Red Vadge of Furrage … well there was just no way to stop the ensuing madness.

The Desperate Housewife has been featured here on GOIM before, during her days as a Botox Bride. Having made an ill-advised decision to bin some nudie photos her husband took, she soon found them en route to the internet and a world wide plenary on how the carpet matched the curtains at Marcia’s House. (Cue Eve Plumb, “Marcia, Marcia, Marcia”). This made her very Cross indeed.

I suppose those of those of us who are without bins should cast the first stones. Since that’s nobody at all … let’s all stonelessly just contemplate the Trashcan Darling, the Trashcan Sinatra, indeed the Trashcan Saint that is:

We’ve classied up the smut with a Da Vinci reference … or we’ve smuttied up ole Leonardo … you decide.

Gaywired.com broke down the basics of the tale for those of you who missed this important tale for the curtains and drapes industry.

The naked photos of Marcia Cross, supposedly found in her trash more

than a year ago, finally have made it onto the Internet.

The photos, apparently taken by her husband, show the red-headed star enjoying an outdoor shower. Apparently they were thrown in the trash at

some point, as that’s where they were found last year by a firm hired to remove garbage from Cross’s LA home.

The firm, now represented by Phoenix-based agent David Hans

Schmidt, is now attempting to sell the photos to the highest bidder.

“There are some pictures of her showering outside,” Schmidt said in a

recent release. “She looks absolutely gorgeous. And yes, the carpet does m

atch the curtains. The pictures were not stolen. When you throw something away, you forfeit that property. We recognize the copyright

issue, but U.S. copyright law stops at the border. I’m not looking to mortify Ms. Cross, I just want the most money for my client.”

Ahh well … there’s more punning to be done I’m sure … Something along the lines of the old Big Red Chewing Gum jingle.

So kiss a little longer,

hold hands a little longer,
hold tight a little longer.
Longer with Big Red.

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Tags: Cross, MArcia, Marcia Cross, Trashcan Darling